NUMBER 1!!!!!
JOSEPH GETTING A FIVE ON THE AP TEST!!!!!
I mean what? I may have gotten a number in between three and five, but I never expected quiet Joseph with a tendency to make belligerent and usually wrong comments to outscore a great deal of our class. It's moments like these that make me want to "Put out the light, then put out the light"(Shakespeare, 5.2.7) if you know what I mean...murder...that's what I mean.
NUMBER 2!!!!!
WORDS, WORDS, WORDS RAP!!!!!
I have mad flow and true talent for rhyming obscure words; That's why they call me the Obscure Wordsmith on the streets...or Dr. Bear. Anyway, I wrote a rap song for words, words, words with Alex Kreger for our final and it kicked the crap out of Joseph and Carolyn's rap...which felt so right. "O, beware, my lord, of jealousy!"(Shakespeare, 3.3.165), I said to Joseph, after schooling him in front of his friends...Then he got a five on the AP test...huh.
NUMBER 3!!!!!
WINNING THE PICKLEBALL TOURNAMENT IN GYM!!!!!
Not many people play pickleball, which could easily explain my winning one game, much less an entire tournament. For those uninformed, pickleball consists of ping-pong, tennis, and a complete stripping of any dignity you have left, but since two of those ingredients are technically sports, my chances at winning were slim to HAHAHAHAHAHAH NO, NO WAY, NOT A CHANCE. But, in the end, my triumphs are, "not a very interesting subject"(Wilde, 2), so I will stop boring you.
NUMBER 4!!!!!
STRAIGHT UP QUOTING THE BIBLE IN A DISCUSSION ON ETHAN FROME!!!!!
I thought being an atheist and knowing more about the bible than most Christians made me both cool and mysterious in tenth grade, instead it made me kind of a jerk...but I digress. I really enjoyed making Mrs. Hoffman's job more uncomfortable so bringing in religion to discussion (and also talking about how much Catcher in the Rye sucked) made my day. I felt so clever making a comparison between Ethan Frome and the entire book of Ezekial, but being clever did not help my grade in the least (I got a B) and so, "I am sick to death of cleverness." (Wilde, 16)
NUMBER 5!!!!!
GETTING INTO NYU!!!!!
This is really more of an acting accomplishment, but NYU also only takes smart people so I'm blurring the lines a little bit here. Getting into a dream school should go on the top ten list of anything, even something totally off-topic like top ten pirates or gold-rush era diseases. I would like to play pretend for a living and I can think of no better place to "[lead] a double life"(Wilde, 24) than a sixty-three thousand dollar debt-hole!
NUMBER 6!!!!!
JOINING THE PERFORMING ARTS ACADEMY!!!!!
My friends, teachers and relatives have already grown tired of my nonsense in regards to acting, but I just can not express how much this program has influenced my life. However, when it comes to free time, "I'd like one of those, a life"(Currie Jr., 186)
NUMBER 7!!!!!
MS. SERENSKY'S CLASS IN GENERAL!!!!!
Wooha sucking up! I do actually really enjoy the constant workload, I feel a strange sense of camaraderie stemming from an innate fear of Ms. Serensky's wrath. Remember fellow AP'ers, "[There will] never be anything but the sorrow...and the determination to go forth in the face of that sorrow."(Currie Jr., 121)
NUMBER 8!!!!!
SEVENTH PERIOD COMMONS, FIRST SEMESTER!!!!!
Again, not much education here, but what a great collection of people! I always say high school creates friends by proxy and that makes me sad, but I'm glad that for one semester I had a fabulous assortment of friends to chat and connect with. "Even if everything else around here has changed," my adoration for you guys will stay exactly the same (Currie Jr., 166).
NUMBER 9!!!!!
MARCHING BAND!!!!!
As I mentioned before, collective suffering brings people together and nothing comes closer to an internment camp in high school than band camp...or internment camp camp, but no one goes there. All the fun of coming together as a grade and messing with other "campers" makes up for having to play for hours. So band camp, "I am your own forever."(Shakespeare, 3.4.476)
NUMBER 10!!!!!
WINNING MULTIPLE CHOICE GAMES!!!!!
There is nothing better than winning (JK there's pie). I have been the top scorer in two out of the eight AP multiple choice games I have played and it feels so good to go "Hey, someone smarter than me, guess you're not so...smart now...huh?" That always gets them. I did not even place in the last two but I know that "What seem to us bitter trials are often blessings in disguise." (Wilde, 28).
NUMBER 11!!!!!
YOU'RE WELCOME!!!!!
The first few of these were very funny. Especially the one where Joseph got a 5 on the AP test and then dropped the class. Also, the pickleball tournament. Your rap was also funny, I count myself lucky to see it. I don't think I could come up with a better collection. And congrats on NYU!
ReplyDeleteThis post left me in some metaphorical stitches. Maybe it's because of all the intense capitalization and exclamation points, or maybe what you said was legitimately funny, it's hard to discern. I was laughing the entire blog though, job well done sir. Wow, I'm bummed I didn't see the Words rap live.
ReplyDelete