This angry, angry man represents my feeling when someone asks me "What's a college audition? Why would you do that?" Now, I'm not necessarily mad because people are bloody ignorant apes but more because theatre (and acting specifically) remains one of the only careers where you have to prove your talent on the spot before the college even considers you. A college audition consists of a few standard things:The hours of travel spent re-reading monologues and comic books, the effeminate man signing you in and mispronouncing your last name (seriously, it's Russo...not that hard), hours of waiting before you show off to about one to five very bored professors for about three minutes, an hour of crying in the bathroom, then several weeks of waiting next to your mailbox as you await the result of practicing two monologues a couple of times. The real frustration, however, comes from the "Why?" because honestly?...I don't know. It does not make any sense that I would have to train for hours to attend a college (averaging at about 40 to 50 thousand dollars a year) for a career that typically makes an average of zero dollars a year (discounting waiter's tips or "I told you so" sympathy dollars from grandparents). Why only actors? I think more socially relevant professions should have to audition as well! Like doctors! Quick! You have three minutes to perform surgery on this guy...then wait three months to find out if he lived! Such is life I suppose, but if I'm not at school, it's a safe bet to assume that I'm going through more stress than most people can imagine...but not you...you take AP English...you understand.
Oh Dom, I can always count on your humor. I can't say I've ever asked you what an audition was... I don't know, maybe I have. But I feel like I understand where you're coming from. You see, I'm a little bit nervous because I have an art portfolio review this weekend. If you weren't aware, it represents 50% of my application to this particular institution, Carnegie Mellon. Let's break this down. For 3 of 4 years in high school, I have been in either drawing, painting, the portfolio preparation class, or the AP portfolio class. This is where I have learned the basics and formed my body of art work. I spend 1 period a day in the class, out of 8 periods. That means about 13% of those 3 years were related to art. Then take into account the 1 year where I was not in a class, and you are left with about 9% of my high school career spent doing art. That is a 41% increase in its total value to the college, and subsequently a 41% decrease in the value of my other classes. Now Carnegie Mellon is a prestigious institution, and you need a good academic record, but still it is crazy to think about. I'm also aware that auditions are in fact, as you mention, worth even more than that. So good luck Dom, break a leg out there.
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